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  thetalkingvagina says FML Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Suddenly, he grabbed my 'lower' lips and moved them in a talking motion, proclaiming that "the talking vagina declares war and wants to conquer the great penis." FML

  2 months on
  FMyLife
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  hchristine says FML Today, I was taking a motorcycle taxi, when we lost balance and toppled over. I fell on my back on an open sewer. I have cuts and scrapes, and there was untreated sewage in my wounds. I will never feel clean again. FML

  2 months on
  FMyLife
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  anon-o-mouse says FML Today, I realised how screwed I am for my exams, so I called my boyfriend for support, but he couldn't come around because he was hooking up with my best friend. So I called my mum because I was upset, but she couldn't talk because she's splitting up with my dad. FML

  2 months on
  FMyLife
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  Anonymous says FML Today, my wife put a padlock on the refrigerator to keep me from drinking. FML

  2 months on
  FMyLife
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  Spewki says FML Today, my dad bought an Annoy-a-tron, a tiny device that makes loud annoying beeps. I ripped my room apart trying to find it. After finding one and turning it off, I found the invoice and discovered that he'd bought two. I'll probably never sleep again. FML

  2 months on
  FMyLife
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  crunchy says FML Today, I got a salad for a nice snack. I was about halfway through when I tasted something bad in my mouth, thinking it was just some bad lettuce I spit it out. Turns out it was a bug. One of the legs got stuck in my teeth. FML

  2 months on
  FMyLife
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  Anonymous says FML Today, I wanted to impress my girlfriend with a cool fire breathing trick I learned online, and ended up burning half her room. She's pressing charges. FML

  2 months on
  FMyLife
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  dancerr2210 says FML Today, after making out with my boyfriend for the first time, it took me an hour to convince him he was still a virgin. FML

  2 months on
  FMyLife
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  CircleBruise says FML Today, I was playing my guitar and singing on the street corner. I did earn money, but the first time I did was when some guy threw a quarter out of his car window for me. It hit me in the face. I now have a circle shaped bruise under my eye. FML

  2 months on
  FMyLife
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  missmosley23 says FML Today, I found out that my husband only proposed to me to 'see what I'd say'. He was shocked when I said yes. Our one year anniversary is this month. FML

  2 months on
  FMyLife
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  unhappybirthday says FML Today, I was in the car with my dad and younger brother. My dad suddenly says "Well, just 6 more days," which made me happy because that's when my birthday is. I smile and say "Yeah I'm excited," to which he replies, "Me too, I've been waiting for your brother's first football practice all year." FML

  2 months on
  FMyLife